Gratitude - turns what we have into Enough

As most of you know, each year I pick a few year-long projects that I work on throughout the entire year. One of my 16 goals for 2016 was a Gratitude Jar. As I chronicled my thoughts, I had a meaningful reminder of the everyday things that make my life unique and wonderful. I will admit that there were days that challenged me; challenged me to be as good as I can be, to be thankful for the blessing of another day even when I felt that everything had gone wrong and that I had not lived up to my full potential. For this very reason, the Gratitude Jar. It made me stop for a few moments each day to think about one thing or moment or deed that I felt grateful for on that particular day. This helped me realize that
each day IS a gift.

We go through life hoping we will find the prize – the whole, perfect loaf of bread if you will, but while we are focusing so intently on that goal, we are missing all the crumbs, walking right by them. If we would just gather those crumbs, they would add up to a full loaf before long and feed us in the same way. I began trying to see and appreciate all the crumbs in my life. There were so many little things that mattered – meeting a friend for coffee, watching my grandchildren play, enjoying the perfection of peaches in season at the farmers' market. 

As I became practiced at noticing the little things to be thankful for, the bigger things began to come into focus as well. Some of them had been there all along, but I had not been able to see them for what they were: important learning experiences that were teaching me more about who I am, how I relate to others, and what I want out of life. Yes, even those parts of my life that I had not imagined or wanted also helped me to see the person I really am, and lead me into an even better future. I could learn to be thankful for it all.

* Gratitude puts situations into perspective. When I can see the good as well as the bad, it becomes more difficult to complain and stay stuck. 

* Gratitude helps me realize what I have. This can lessen my need for wanting more all the time.

* Gratitude strengthens relationships, improves health, reduces stress, and, in general, makes me happier.

Both the years and experiences have brought me here to where I stand today, but it is the thankfulness that opened the windows of opportunities, of blessings, of unique experiences to flow my way. I am also very thankful for the people, for the ideas, for the chance to work and labor, and to produce results, all of that has brought me to this place. I am grateful for it all.

Gratitude means thankfulness, counting my blessings, noticing simple pleasures, and acknowledging everything that I receive. It means learning to live my life as if everything were a miracle, and being aware on a continuous basis of how much I have been given. Gratitude shifts my focus from what my life lacks to the abundance that is already present. To say I feel grateful is not to say that everything in my life is necessarily great. It just means I am trying to be aware of my blessings.

I took for granted the good that was already present in my life. I began to start finding joy in the small things instead of holding out for big achievements–before allowing myself to feel gratitude and joy. Another way to use giving thanks to appreciate life more fully is to use gratitude to help you put things in their proper perspective. I have found that when things do not go my way, I need to remember that every difficulty carries within it the seeds of an equal or greater benefit. In the face of adversity I need to ask myself: “What is good about this?” “What can I learn from this?” and “How can I benefit from this?”

Once I became oriented toward looking for things to be grateful for, I found that I began to appreciate simple pleasures and things that I previously took for granted. Gratitude should not be just a reaction to getting what I want, but an all-the-time gratitude, the kind where I notice the little things and where I constantly look for the good even in unpleasant situations. I wanted to start bringing gratitude to your experiences, instead of waiting for a positive experience in order to feel grateful. 

If you are inspired to create your own gratitude jar this year, if you stick with it, you will quickly see that it is more than a fun craft project. Here are a few lessons to keep in mind if you decide to adopt this practice.

1. Gratitude is a verb - While it is one thing to see a photo of a gratitude jar and think ‘How cute! I should do that!’ it is a completely different story when it comes to actually sitting down and expressing the reasons why you are grateful. Gratitude is deeper than an ‘attitude’ or filling a jar with pieces of paper. Through this process, I learned how much it demands you to be more present every day. Think about how often our minds drift to how much we do not have and how far we have left to go. Take a moment and think about what you have right now. The wisdom that you have, how far you have come and notice the difference in how you feel.

2. Seek out the lessons during the hard times - It is easy to feel grateful when everything is going well, but what do you do when you are having a bad day? Trust me, there will be days when you do not want to write anything and that is okay. Sit with that feeling and write about that instead. During the periods when I felt really down or round myself wanting to resist the process I had to dig deep and ask myself - 'How do I feel in this moment? 'Why do I feel this way' or 'What am I learning?' Looking back now as I read the entries, I am proud that I let myself feel and express my emotions instead of glaze over them.

3. Do not try to be perfect - If you miss a day, it is not the end of the world. You do not have to ‘keep up’, or write a certain quota per day. This is a record of your life and you do not need to impress anyone. Author your own story.

4. Create your own rules - When you start your jar you may be tempted to create or follow a set of rules. If you find yourself thinking: You should write at least 3 things you’re grateful for each day; Don’t open your jar until Dec 31^st; Only record your happy moments. Forget the ‘rules’ and do what works for you. If the picture of the jar that you saw on Pinterest says that you have to wait a year before reading what’s inside and you don’t want to, then don’t. Break the rules and create your own. Your jar. Your life. Your Way.

My outlook on life has shifted. A quick glance at my Gratitude Jar reminds me that life is full of wonderful things to be grateful for and I have the strength and support to overcome anything. Appreciating yourself for your strengths AND your imperfections (not in spite of them), allows you to find a sense of belonging and to feel more connected to life. Sometimes it is the simple things that make life wonderful: the beautiful sunrise, fresh strawberries from a farmer's market, a smile from a stranger, or an encouraging text from a friend. Taking time to appreciate those moments of joy helps you to cherish your life and yourself.

After this year, I am viewing things in a new way. I have a renewed appreciation and a sense of not taking things for granted. I am thankful for the things I have as well as the things I no longer have. These are my teachers, and I am blessed to have them in my life. I would love to hear about the challenges that have made you more grateful for life.