This year, I am going to work on acknowledging and accepting that I cannot do everything all the time. I only have so many resources: time, energy, money, etc. While it is understandable to want to accomplish much and please a number of people, I am only one person and cannot always manage to do it all. So, I am going to stop, take a deep breath, and regroup. All I can do is all I can do and all I can do is enough! I need to let go of the need for perfection, and of solving all problems for all people. I cannot do all that needs to be done, all the time, and that’s OK.
In order to find balance, I must manage myself, not time. Is there really any such thing as “time management,” or do manage our activities? Everyone has the exact same amount of time – 24 hours in one day. Many days we wish we could just tack on a few more hours to finish a project, or to get more rest or to do other things we would like to be able to squeeze into our day. Managing myself reflects a sense of responsibility in what I do in a day, and in a lifetime. It is being proactive and realizing the power of choice and knowing what I do have control over.
I need to learn to add and subtract. Regarding activities: What pressuring task am I willing to give up, or subtract, in order to have or achieve something (add) more important in a different area? To do more of one thing, I must do less of others. I must be willing to cut some activities from my schedule – even if just temporarily – in order to accomplish higher priorities. When planning my week, I need to determine which less important tasks or projects can wait. I will learn to subtract these from my weekly “to-do” list – and feel the sense of being overwhelmed lessen automatically.
I need to learn to just say “No.” “Will you…?”“Can you…?” “I just need a small favor…” “We can always count on you.” “You’re so good at…” When I hear these messages, do I feel flattered, annoyed, or used? Sometimes I say yes to things because I feel pressure to give an immediate answer. However, I need to remember I have the right to take some time to think about what I can reasonably do before responding. Being able to say no is a critical piece in reducing stress and balancing my life. It will also give my yeses much more power!
To
create balance, I will schedule time for myself. If
I don’t take care of myself, who will? If I don’t take time and
steps to preserve my health and well-being, then who will? It is
wonderful to have other people in my life I can help, work with, be
friends with and share activities with. However, I should be my own
best friend first. I want my family and friends to have the best of
me! It takes deliberate effort on my part to make that happen. I need
to make it a priority to schedule the time and place for myself to
bring what gives me comfort, health, joy or whatever I most need
now. I need to be intentional in resting, in playing, in growing, taking
at least 10 minutes a day to do something I like. Scheduling
time for myself is a must if I want the best of myself ready to
tackle my busy schedule.
Live with purpose! A life oriented around an authentic and passionate purpose is one that is much easier to keep in balance. For this reason, there is no perfect, one-size-fits-all balance plan I can strive for. The best life balance plan is different for each of us because we all have different priorities and different lives.
The quote, “Life is a journey, not a destination” has much value in terms of reminding us about the value of maintaining a balanced life. There is no “last and final time” to clean our homes, care for our children or families, maintain our own health or accomplish some goals. There will always be something we need to do, even after retirement, and this is a good thing! The pleasure is that we have a choice about how to live our lives, activities to be involved in and people to be in relationships with.
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