Kate, Maria, and I did a 6.25 mile round trip hike today to Opal Creek Wilderness. This trail follows the original road into Jawbone Flats along the Little North Fork of the Santiam River. We passed some of the oldest trees in the Opal Creek Wilderness, 700 year-old trees, peered into abandoned mines, and saw some of the prettiest water ever.

At 2 miles into the hike you reach the historic Merten Mill, built in 1943, a steam-powered sawmill that logged five of the surrounding acres. The operation ended after two of the company’s logging trucks fell off a steep area of the road, proving the logging risky and unprofitable. A steam engine repurposed from the U.S.S. Battleship Oregon still lies in the clearing.

When the road forked 0.2 miles past the mill, we opted to get off the 'main' road and actually crossed Opal Creek and hiked on the other side of the river. It was a gorgeous hike, so much scenery to take in. We hiked into Opal Pool, a scenic gorge.

Eventually, we made our way to the historic mining town of Jawbone Flats, a collection of buildings built between 1929 and 1932. Jawbone Flats was started some time around 1930 as a mining town. The miners arrived in the area near Mill City in 1859 and discovered gold. Other minerals were in greater supply and also found nearby, such as copper, zinc, and lead. Mining continued in the area until 1992, when the Shiny Rock Mining company donated land, valued then at $12.6 million, in the area to the fledgling Friends of Opal Creek. In 1996, the area surrounding the town became part of the Opal Creek Wilderness and Opal Creek Scenic Recreation Area. Today the town is run by the same group, now renamed the Opal Creek Ancient Forest Center. The town is being restored as a historic center and outdoor museum of the mining era, and there are cabins there that can be rented. Jawbone Flats gets is electricity from water sent down the pipes from higher elevation into a water turbine.

For more information on Opal Creek Wilderness, check out: www.opalcreek.org/history

June is my birthday month. 

I should be excited. I should be rejoicing for I have been given another year to spend with my family and friends, to achieve my goals, and to make up for all my losses. I have never been a fan of birthday celebrations (just mine not others), but that has changed ... For those of you who do not know, every year for the last few years, I have celebrated my birthday month...

Not the day...

Not the week...

The whole entire month!

Yep, you read that right. I celebrate my birthday the whole month of June. Some may find that egotistical but if you know me, you know I truly dislike being the center of attention. I prefer spending my birthday with close friends and family just hanging out, catching up, having a good meal. The fact is, I am lucky to be alive and healthy enough to enjoy the last 54 years. I am surrounded by people who will celebrate with me. Who care about me. Who see me and who love me. I celebrate my birthday for the whole month of June because I am a lucky woman. God is good and has blessed me with many, many people in my life. I have family and friends who want to celebrate me and my birthday.

As adults I think we get really wrapped up in work, life, and getting by. We have families, kids, illness, and financial pressures among a million other things on our plates. So celebrating our birthday seems, well, a bit much. We are either too tired, not in the mood, do not feel like it, do not want to make it a “big deal”, hate surprises, or we hate getting older so why celebrate at all? Sound familiar?

This year marks my 55th birthday. There is nothing new, just another year added to my resume, but this time I plan to make the most out of it. I am going to blog the entire month's birthday activities. 
 

I started my birthday celebration by treating myself to a pedicure, and if your birthday falls on National Donut Day, you must celebrate with a donut. After that, my friend Kriss took me out for a birthday dinner at a restaurant of my choice. I have to tell you a story about my friend Kriss.  It is scary how much we think alike. I saw this wonderful necklace on Living Social, and I loved it SO much and knew that Kriss would as well so I bought one for her and one for me. Imagine my surprise (as well as Kriss') when I showed up with the necklace on. Come to find out Kriss bought two necklaces as well, one for me and one for her. Now I have three and Kriss has one, soon to have two when her birthday comes.

The very next day, my kids had a birthday brunch for me. What a great way to spend a Saturday morning, celebrating me, with Jimmy, Josh, Sara, Ruby, and Aiden eating breakfast and red velvet cake; spending time with my favorite people. I love my family.

The following week Melissa and Vassa took me to Trapala, a Mexican Restaurant here in town. Spending time with friends is a great way to commerate your birthday. What a great way to celebrate with friends...good food, good friends, good fellowship; let the birthday celebration continue.

The following weekend Karen and Jan took me on a hike to one of the most recognized symbols of the Columbia River Gorge, Beacon Rock. It is an amazing, if short, hiking experience. Beacon Rock ascends nearly 600 feet in less than a mile. It was a tough hike, but the views were oh so worth it. The trail is something of an engineering wonder, beginning with the fact that the builders couldn't scout the route; they had to just built a section, then figure out where to take it next. The finished product is 4500 feet long and 4 feet wide, and includes 52 switchbacks, 100 concrete slabs, and originally, 22 wooden bridges. Some of the original work remains, such as wrought-iron handrails at some switchbacks and steel eyebolts in the rock wall. To get to the top, just persevere and, if heights bother you, don't look down.

After we got done with the hike, they took me to a great restaurant, Island Cafe. It is a fabulous place right on the Columbia River. They offer both inside and outside seating. We were fortunate enough to get an outside side, right on the edge of the dock. We had an up close and personal view of the river and all the comings and goings.

The very next day Melissa took me out for a special time to catch up. Life can be so busy, so crazy, and we must make time to cultivate our friendships. She had a lovely surprise for me. We went for a lovely brunch, a little wine tasting, and some picture taking at Orchard Heights Winery that is located in the picturesque foothills of the Coast Range. They recently were named the #1 Brunch and Family Restaurant in the Mid-Willamette Valley 3 years in a row. The Sunday Brunch has a make to order omelet and pasta bar along with Eggs Benedict, a waffle bar and many more goodies.

And that, my friends, is how I celebrated my birthday for a month. Thanks to all my well-wishers, to those who remembered, and to those, who did not, no hard feelings. People come and go, people will forget, some will remember, some will not.

My birthday is a celebration of my LIFE! I was placed on this earth to do something AMAZING. Somewhere along the line, I realized one day was not enough, I say CELEBRATE your BIRTHDAY for the WHOLE MONTH! I say bake a cake, light a candle, sing HAPPY BIRTHDAY, and CELEBRATE YOU!

I hope this post inspires you to celebrate your own birthday month.

I am now 55, but I still feel young. I found this quote that could not say it better - “Old is old at any age. Old is when you quit asking questions about this, that, and everything. Old is when you forget how to love -or worse, don't care. Old is when you don't want to dance anymore. Old is when you don't want to learn anything new except how to be old. Old is when people tell you that you are old -and you believe them.” ― Carew Papritz

 

Some memories are permanently etched in our minds, others fade with time. Everyone who is at least 18 years old remembers where they were on Tuesday morning, September 11, 2001, when jetliners were flown into the World Trade Center. As we just marked the 35^th anniversary of Mt. Saint Helen's eruption, many of us remember that day. Some remember where they were that very moment when President John F. Kennedy, was killed, and yet there are some who remember the exact moment when man first stepped on the moon.

There are moments in all of our lives that shape us. Some are collective memories, as the day the terrorists attacked or the assassin struck or the space shuttle exploded. Others are personal memories. Tuesday, May 27, 1997, is a day that I will never forget. That is the day my best friend, my husband of almost 18 years passed away. I will never forget the events of that one week, how in the short time span, my husband took ill, went to the hospital, then died, and how it has changed my life forever.

The death of a loved one can be perceived as an irreconcilable loss and for some the grief can be unbearable and long lasting. Anyone who has lost a parent, spouse, child or close friend knows the intense sense of loss and emotional pain that is a natural part of the grieving process. The term bereavement means "to be deprived of someone through death." It may take some time to move through the initial stages of the grieving process but with time and patience, the initial grief subsides and with this resolve comes an opportunity for a deeper healing. Beyond mere coping or finding a sense of peace, the transition of a loved one can bring about opportunities for emotional and psychological healing and spiritual growth.

Recognizing how much your loved one contributed to your happiness, even just by being who they were, honors the love they had for you and the place they carved in your life. By remembering with gratitude, you are filled again by those very experiences you so cherished as well as those you perhaps took for granted. Remember: Nothing they added to you can be taken away with their passing, with the death of a loved one your life is forever changed.

These words from an unknown author are so true: "Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward." To let go doesn't mean you forget or go on with your life as if their passing meant little to you. Letting go means letting go of them to embrace yourself and the life you envision for the future.

To cope after the death of someone suggests merely surviving, but to create something lasting is to renew your life and contribute something meaningful and beautiful in memorial.

Grief takes time, but as a culture we generally don’t encourage mourners to take that time. Some rituals, like the Jewish customs of sitting Shiva (a week long period of mourning) and reciting the Kaddish (a mourner’s prayer) for up to a year, give survivors who follow them a comforting structure for their sorrow.

Anyone who has lost a loved one knows that you don’t “recover.” Instead, you learn to incorporate their absence and memories into your life and channel your emotional energy toward others. It has been said that in general, bereaved survivors should not think of ‘getting over’ a loss, but develop ways to get used to it. Even years after someone dies, pangs of grief may come out of the blue, and feelings of heartache and missing the deceased are rekindled. That is normal. Eventually, it has been said, your grief walks beside you instead of consuming you.
Death forces you to look back, and acceptance involves slowly turning your body around to look forward. If you begin a new chapter of life, you carry the person you lost along with you.

Grief...All we can do is ride it out! And ~ it is different for everyone. There are no rules...and there is no timeframe. Oh how I wish I had a penny – even half a penny – for each and every time someone told me: You should be over his death! You should be past that! He wouldn't want you feeling this way, and the list goes on and on! The truth of the matter is I have grieved for many years in many ways. Every time there was a big event, a child's graduation, a son's wedding, a grandchild being born, family tradegies, as well as family blessings, etc. I often wondered if they didn't understand what it felt like to watch someone you have loved all your adult life leave this place? How could they? I know I did not understand that until I lived it.

These are the moments that shape us. Through it all, there is a God who loves us.

A Day of Immense Joy -- A Day of Immeasurable Sorrow –

My husband died, suddenly, when I was 36 years old. Being widowed this young happens to less than 3% of married people. Writing through this loss one word at a time helps me understand what I have lost and helps me continue to grow. It is how I continually recover from such a profound loss.

I try not to think about him or his death very often because when I do, I feel like I can barely function, still. It is much, much easier to distract myself with day-to-day life rather than dwell on the loss I feel.

Having children, though, makes it a million times harder to ignore how much I miss him. Now that my children are grown and are having the “big” moments in their lives, it makes me long for him even more. It is in those big moments that I feel that loss all over, especially for my children. It is in those times I feel like I cannot breathe; today is one of those times.

Today, my youngest child and his wife had their second child, a son. My husband would have been the most incredible grandfather in the world. Even before we thought about having kids, he would think, dream about his grandchildren. He would have loved his grandchildren more than anyone could love anything, and when I look at our children now, I am just so heartbroken that Joe will never know his grandchildren and they will never know him.

I can try to describe Joe to them and tell them stories about how wonderful Joe was, but at the end of the day, he will always just be the grandfather they never knew — just a man in a picture who looks a lot like an older version of their dad.

I feel this heartbreak even more when I see grandchildren who get to have their grandfathers with them to spoil their grand babies. It is completely irrational and immature and wrong, but I actually still wonder why me, why my children. Why do others get to have their dads shower their kids with gifts and do so many things that my grandchildren will just never know. There are times I just want to throw a childish fit, to scream about how unfair it is. And that is all it is – childish. I know these feelings are not right and I know that these other people have nothing to do with me, my sons, or our situation. I know that some children have fathers who are living but do not care to do anything for or with their grandchildren. There are plenty of worse things that have happened and are happening in the world every day, and at least I have a beautiful children and grandchildren to share my life with, but it does not take away the ache when I see a grandfather with his grandchildren.

So, while today is a bittersweet day, I chose to think of the sweet rather than the bitter in the situation. My sons are the wonderful men they are because of the man their father was. While he may have left this world much to soon, he had a huge influence in the men they have become.

Life is about choices, life is like a road. There are long and short roads; smooth and rocky roads; crooked and straight roads. In our life many roads will come our way as we journey through life. There are roads that lead to a life of single blessedness or marriage. There are also roads that lead to fame and fortune on one hand, or isolation and poverty on the other. There are roads to happiness as there are roads to sadness, roads towards victory and jubilation, and roads leading to defeat and disappointment.

You do not really know where a road will lead you until you choose it. There are no guarantees. There are too many possible outcomes, which your really cannot control. The only thing you have power over is the choices that you will make, and how you would act and react to different situations. Today, I am trying to choose happiness.

January 10, 2015 - Today's Adventure

What truly made today an adventure was the round-about way Pat Wallace and I went to get to the Witches Castle. 

It is an easy half-mile hike from the Upper Macleay parking lot near the Portland Audubon Society, or a slightly longer three-quarter mile jaunt starting from the Lower Macleay parking lot. However, since we had no clue how to get there, instead we parked at Washington Park near the Portland Zoo and started out. We first stopped at Hoyt Arboretum, which was about a 1 mile hike (somehow we got turned around and went in circles). From here, we then hiked to Pittock Mansion, or about another 1.5 miles, and then from here it was probably another 1.5 miles to the Witches Castle. If my trusty RunKeeper app on my phone is correct, we hiked 7.5 miles and my body is feeling every step of that tonight. I will spare you the TMI but suffice to say, I learned some valuable lessons on today's hike. I will in the future carry gloves in my hiking backpack. If you really want to know, ask me about it and I will share … it will make you laugh. 

The Stone House, a Works Progress Administration (WPA) project, is located in Portland’s Forest Park, one of the largest urban forested parks in the United States.

Forest Park in Portland, Oregon most notably the area around Balch Creek has some interesting history behind it as well as playing host to one of the area's most famous haunted places. In 1850, Danford Balch filed a land claim on this portion of land near what was then the fledgling settlement of Portland. Danford's land was large enough that he needed help in order to clear it. He hired a transient worker named Mortimer Stump who was from Vancouver. Balch allowed him to stay with he and his family, which consisted of his wife Mary Jane and his 9 children.

 

Mortimer was with the family so long that one thing led to another and he fell in love with Danford's 15 year old daughter Anna. Mortimer asked for permission to marry Anna but her parents refused. The couple threatened to elope and Danford exclaimed that if they did he would kill Mortimer. Well young lovers did not heed this warning and Mortimer ran off to Vancouver with Anna in November of 1858 where they were married. This sparked a feud between the Balch and Stump families.

A few weeks later Mortimer, Anna, and some other members of the Stump family returned to Portland for some supplies and encountered Danford. Having been nagged and tormented by Mary Jane to make good on his promise, Danford later claimed that his wife "bewitched" him into carrying out his threat to kill Mortimer and return their daughter to the family. In a drunken stupor, Danford pulled a shotgun and shot Mortimer in the head.  

 

Balch was promptly arrested; however, the deteriorated condition of the wooden prison allowed him to later escape while awaiting his trial. He hid out on his own property and was again found and arrested some 6 months later. Danford Balch was put on trial and convicted for the murder of Mortimer and was hanged to death on October 17, 1859. This was the first legal hanging that occurred in the newly formed Oregon Territory. Mary Jane continued to live at the Balch cabin, but at Danford's request divided up the land among her children.

Over the years, the land was passed to various owners but was of little use and was given to the City of Portland by Donald Macleay in 1897 to be used as a park. In the 1950's a stone structure was built to house restrooms and a ranger station for the park near the site of the old Balch cabin. It was maintained until the Columbus Day storm in 1962 took out the plumbing system and heavy vandalism over the years forced park officials to abandon it rather than embark on costly repairs. It remains as a favorite spot to rest along the trail. This has since became known as "The Witch's Castle".

It is said that strange occurrences occur in this area. Plasma orbs have been photographed in some cases. Some say that when you visit this area around midnight, many apparitions can bee seen in the area and appear as if they are in some sort of battle or war against each other. It is believed that these may be the ghosts of Danford, Mortimer, Anna, and Mary Jane returning from the hereafter. Perhaps these are indeed the spirits of the Balch and Stump families carrying out their ghostly feud through all of time.

Good riddens 2014...Bring on 2015

I am writing about challenges this year because I have faced many. Some of them I overcame well and others not so much. The two I took one for 2014 were to improve my spiritual health as well as my physical health. In order to achieve my spiritual health goal, I chose to read one spiritual book a month and, in order to reach my physical health goal, I chose to do one hike a month. I met my goal of one hike a month, every month, but I failed at my goal of reading one book a month. I only completed five books. I learned that I am not a huge fan of reading. If I have 'free' time, there are many other things I enjoy doing more: hiking, 5Ks, crocheting, scrap-booking, card-making, sewing, crafting, photography, etc. 

A challenge is to do something you are not sure you can do, but have wanted to do or been interested in a while. I am always up for a challenge. It is through challenging myself that I grow. I will change as a result of stretching my capabilities beyond my comfort zone. Why should we challenge ourselves? By doing so, we are able to...

#1 Grow as an individual - It all starts with us. We need to discover more about ourselves and what we are good at, improve our knowledge and skills in familiar topics and learn more about things that we are not as good at. I want to grow as a person and as I engage in introspective thinking, I want to be more spontaneous, humble, honest, spiritual, etc.
#2 Become healthier both physically and mentally - "Health is Wealth." I can physically challenge myself to exercise and eat better. A healthy body yields a healthy spirit. I want to challenge myself mentally by reading more, learning new things, taking part in competitions that will test my skills. A healthy and active mind will keep me physically well, too!
#3 Save money - Fact: It is a challenge to save money. Many of us spend it on the latest gadgets, clothes, accessories, books, going out with friends to the movies...the list is endless! Money cannot buy us happiness but it can help us rest easier and enjoy life more. I want to set goals and challenge myself to save by asking: "Do I really need this?"
#4 Become a better friend or partner - Friends, family and good health are important things in life. Having good, real friends is more often than not needed in our lives to provide mutual support, allowing us to grow and be happy. But am I being the best friend I can be? Do I listen enough? Do I reach out enough to show them I care? Being a good friend is hard work and requires conscious, consistent effort. I want to challenge myself to become a better friend and make mine and my friend's lives happier and better in more ways than one.
#5 Seek inspiration and be more creative - All great artists and innovators learn one golden rule: Inspiration must be sought. I want to be creative and seek inspiration – it does not simply knock on my door. So, I will go outside. Experience new things. Challenging myself to find ways to become inspired is a must. Creativity is a muscle that needs to be stretched constantly – otherwise it withers up and die.
#6 Gain new experiences and have more fun - The alarm clock goes off, I get up and go through my daily routines, then return home to finish off my day. Sound familiar? Many of us go through a routined lifestyle, but it can often get mundane and boring. The truth is, it is easy to do the same old thing. It can even make us feel safe, but, why not challenge ourselves to try new things and gain new experiences? We can meet new people, learn more, have more fun, improve our skills and grow as a person.
#7 Achieve peace and happiness - Peace and happiness are usually the end results of successful challenges, but they can be challenges all on their own. Why not challenge ourselves to be happier and find more peace? I will think of what makes me happy and at ease and will jot them down. I will make an effort to slow down to smell the roses and give myself room to relax once in awhile – I deserve it! Having time for myself to unwind and do the things I love is important for emotional, mental, spiritual and physical well-being.
 
When we make ourselves do something “hard” and we finish, we put a little notch in our belt of self-belief which translates into self-esteem. Self-esteem is something we are born with, but i can be battered and bruised as we grow. We have to work hard to nourish and grow our “self-estimation” of who we are and what we are capable of because that defines our beliefs about our worth in this lifetime. On the other hand, when we avoid challenges, we undermine our self-esteem by saying “I can’t.” We miss opportunities to discover things about ourselves like strengths, preferences and maybe even passions. We set ourselves up for a life of mediocrity full of regrets and what-ifs.

My challenge for this year, should I decide to do it, is again twofold. I am going to take on the 365Project. You may ask, "What is the 365Project?" 365 Projects are simple, you take one photo every day for a year. It can be anything, something you have done, a self portrait, your shoes! Anything! Others may ask, "Why?" Taking a photo each day can be a big undertaking, however the payoffs and the sense of achievement at the end can be great. I am hoping taking photos every day will improve my photography skills, forcing myself to come up with new ideas and making me look at life a little bit differently.

The other challenge I have decided to take on is...a 10K. I know that I can do a 5K, I have done many of them. A 10K is 6.2 miles and most 10Ks have a 2-hour time limit so that is a challenge, to keep a pace to finish 6.2 miles in two hours. I so badly want to do The Greater Columbia River Crossing, but I have been told the bridge is steep and with my knees I am unsure if I can accomplish this. So, I will be taking on The Bridge of the Gods in August in preparation...I hope to do them both.

 I would love to hear about the last thing you did that was hard, that challenged your belief about what you were capable of – or who you are, how you accomplished it and are you planning any new challenges...

Hike #12 - Cabin Creek Falls, Hole-in-the-Wall Falls, and Starvation Creek Falls

As the year is coming to an end quickly, I still had one more hike I needed to get done to complete my goal for this year, 12 hikes in 12 months. One thing about the winter weather, there is not enough daylight. I had to chose something relatively close since I did not decide to go until after church. Today, I chose Dry Creek Falls up the Gorge. As I was driving out I-84, the weather was lovely but the closer I got to Cascade Locks the more it started to rain. I know that I live in Oregon, and I typically do not mind the rain, but it was downright pouring so I decided to drive 11 miles further East to Starvation Creek Falls, as they are not far from the parking lot. By the time I got there, the rain had stopped so I decided to take a hike.

The 186-foot Starvation Creek Falls earned its name when two trains were trapped near here in an 1884 blizzard. Stranded passengers were offered $3 a day to dig out the track while waiting for skiers to arrive with food from Hood River. The stranded passengers called the area 'Starveout," although no one perished during the incident. The falls are just a short walk from the parking lot, but what fun is that...I needed a hike so decided to walk up the Mount Defiance Trail.




You walk through the parking lot back toward the freeway and follow the noisy shoulder. The trail veers into the woods and soon the first fall encountered along the Mt. Defiance Trail is Cabin Creek Falls. Water trickles 175 to 200 feet from Cabin Creek. The falls drop from a razor thin crack in the adjacent cliff, bouncing once on a small shelf, then dropping to the trail. The falls are situated no more than 50 feet from the trail, and can easily be seen without much effort; however, there are a pair of large rocks, probably 75 feet tall, sitting right in front of the falls, blocking the best perspective, so, seeing the entire falls clearly is a near impossibility. When the surrounding trees are bare, one can see almost the entire falls from the trail, the upper tier more or less alone, and the lower tier by itself, but thanks to that dastardly boulder, never together.

After 0.8 mile I crossed a footbridge below Hole-in-the-Wall Falls, which plummets 100 feet from a tunnel. This oddity was created in 1938 when the Oregon Highway Department, upset that Warren Creek Falls wetted the old Columbia River Highway, diverted the creek through a cliff by blasting a tunnel through the adjacent basaltic cliff. The original Columbia River Highway was constructed paralleling close to Warren Creek's major waterfall, Warren Falls. During high water, the creek would often wash out the road, so, rather than repairing or just moving the road, someone decided to move the waterfall. A tunnel was blasted through the adjacent cliff, through which the creek was diverted, and Hole-in-the-Wall Falls was born. If you look closely, you can see a wooden plank stuck into the cliff above the tunnel opening, signaling the human injunction.

After another 0.1 mile I reached a junction with Starvation Ridge Trail. I decided to turn left for the 'easy' loop. This path climbed to a crossing of Warren Creek and switchbacked up over a grassy ridge to a cliff overlooking the parking area, the Columbia River, and Dog Mountain. After hiking a good deal of the trail, running out of trail, and with no where to cross the creek, I had to double back the way I had come from. And I am SO happy I did because that gave me the opportunity to see this beauty along the way.
Between not giving myself enough time to begin with and having to double back and to get out, I barely made it out in the daylight.

This is my last blog post for 2014...I can hardly believe another year has come to an end. Now, I am trying to think of my next goal/challenge for 2015. After doing 50 things in my 50th year, all else pales, but I am on the edge of my next adventure. Stay tuned...check back right after the first of the year to see what I am up to.

Happy New Year, 2015, to you all. I cannot wait to hear about your challenge for 2015.
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